Since there’s nothing good to watch on TV, and Dr. Horrible was 40 minutes long, I picked a new guilty pleasure. The comedic action drama The Password Heist, starring Terry Childs and Handsome Newsom. Not quite Dark Night, but still a plot full of suspense, twists, genius villain and absolute hero.
Our cast of characters so far:
Childs: Tech artist gone made, holding city hostage by threatening to blow up its routers.
DTIS: A super secret underground tech lab which Childs infiltrated as an undercover double agent.
Co-workers: Nameless extras, demoralized by management decisions and budget cuts that only make sense to hire ups. Draws inspiration from Childs’ ability to turn the situation into a tasty mojito lemonade.
Management: Casting by Scott Adams.
DA: Brought in from a 50’s film noire, still amazed that you can press the power switch and the screen flickers to life. Magic!
Newsom: The hero that saved the city from the non-catastrophe by securing its passwords.
A brief recap of the previous season’s episodes. Our protagonist manages to hijack a bus full of passwords, but gets caught in a death-defying battle with management. Armed with nothing but a cell phone camera, he prevails and manages to escape. A SWAT teams gets called to the scene, and after a wild chase through the beautiful streets of SF, secures our villain in custody. Unfortunately, police can’t get the villain to cooperate. Our handsome hero, acting on his own accord, manages to sneak, undetected, into custody where he interrogates the villain and secures the password. In an unexpected twist of logic-defying wisdom, DA — still unsure what to make of our hero — releases the passwords in the wild. The Joker … oops, wrong movie.
In the next season expect less action and more drama. In a twist on the successful Law & Order franchise, our DA will be laughed out at court, as our villain gets a slap on the wrist and walks out to a high paying job in some previously-unknown Silicon Valley security firm.
Now, pass me the popcorn.