The Internets crapped.
Being what one may call “a sophisticated user”, I decided to e-mail a problem description, also outlining all the resolutions I tried, with network status and contact info. Give the support people enough to work with, and call me back when they get to it.
Except, Earthlink, the Internet company, doesn’t list a support e-mail address on their Web site.
But if you search for one, you will find a Web form. How quaint. But something is better than nothing, and so I start filling out the details, and then it stops working. Apparently, one of the DHTML transitions doesn’t work in Firefox. I’m guessing it was only tested against TotalAccess 2007, their branded version of IE, but I’m not going to install that.
So phone it is. Let’s waste some 1-800 minutes.
As common courtesy is, in many parts of the world, we start with a 3 minute menu tree. Intended to “help with the service”. Except, it doesn’t matter what you key in, it will always send you to the same call center. And the person at the other hand will have to ask you for all the same information you keyed into the automated system.
I play along. My reward, 45 minutes on hold. Either because I chose “other” for the operating system I use, or because they’re all out for lunch. But eventually I do get redirected to a headset in India. Not that I have anything against helpful people in other continents, but helpful as they may be, they’re not equipped to do anything about my ADSL line.
Nada. In fact, their only job is to give me a turing test, before passing me off to a technician, somewhere around my time zone. So turing test it is.
No, I will not wait until “service is restored in my area”. I just checked the online service status, there’s no service problem in my area. Not to mention, this problem has been ongoing for a while.
Yes, the modem is connected to the power. And to the phone line on the other end.
I can confirm, I have “blinking lights”.
No there’s no filter on the line. I’m smart enough not to put an ADSL filter on the ADSL line.
Yes, I tried to reset the modem. Also, I toggled keep alive, set it as bridge to PPoE from my WRT45GL, and checked the dB noise level, upstream and downstream.
No, I did not place my cellphone on top of it, causing interference, and the microwave is still in the kitchen.
Do I have anything blocking the connection between my computer and the modem? Let me see. I’m telneted into the router so I can check the line status with the diagnostic tool, so I’m guessing, no?
Are we making progress here? I hope so, but then my cell phone drops the call, and it’s off to square one. This time I try pushing keys at random, just to see if I can get around the call center, maybe there’s a secret passage. No luck. The voice response system is very persistent. So I comply.
But I pick some other option, just for kicks, so now the wait is shorter. Either that or they all came back from lunch. But now I have to remind the call center person about my mother’s maiden name. I think it helps with the upstream traffic. And also what modem I’m using. I guess “the one you sent me, the only one you send ADSL customers in the US according to your knowledge base” is not precise enough.
Finally we’re making some progress. We’re going to take this relationship to the next level, and I’m going to meet — no, not the parents, but “someone who can help” me. By which they mean 35 minutes on hold. Again.
Well, it’s now two hours past my dinner time, and Earthlink is not worth starving for, so I hang up. At least I can use the EV-DO card as backup. (How else would I find the support number to begin with?)
But I’m wondering, shouldn’t there be some sikret handshake so us techies can just pick up the phone and get routed to a fellow techie. No more going through “oops, I forgot to turn it on” screening interviews. The technical people I talked to in the past wasted no time fixing my problem. And without having to know my mother’s maiden name.
Meanwhile, anyone know how to reach Earthlink technical support without passing through India?
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